Navigating The Dating World as a Young Adult with A History of Cancer

Healthcare professionals are in a unique position to consider the psychosocial needs of young adults (YAs) with a cancer diagnosis. Assuming the unwanted identity of “patient” leads to significant disruption for YAs in active or post treatment at a time when they are defining personal and professional values and goals. How to best approach the new romantic relationships and partnerships while enduring the trauma that accompanies a diagnosis is an important area of focus.

Medical care team members, including doctors, physician assistants, nurses, and social workers, can enhance their ability to support and advocate for young adults with cancer by understanding common themes that this population navigates while dating.

The Impact of Cancer on Establishing Romantic Connections

YAs with a history of cancer often find it challenging to open up about their diagnosis with peers of a similar age.¹ They may experience a sense of isolation and disconnection from others in their age group, who may present as uncomfortable with conversations about illness. Identifying an appropriate moment for disclosure and choosing which details to provide may prove difficult when establishing a relationship. There are concerns about being rejected by peers or hearing insensitive comments after exhibiting vulnerability with a date.

In addition, studies have found that it can be more difficult to engage in intimacy with others after suffering debilitating side effects and body image insecurities during treatment.² It is also important to recognize that some may deprioritize the concept of dating while encountering life-changing circumstances.

Despite the barriers that YAs with cancer face while dating, research has reinforced the tremendous benefits that romantic partnerships can provide to the community.³ Strong relationships and bonds can provide integral support while coping with the traumatic force of cancer and enhance an individual’s sense of self.

Below are strategies that medical professionals can use to help young adults feel more empowered and confident.

Offer Language That Young Adults Can Use When Meeting New People

Developing an understanding of what a diagnosis means is difficult enough for a young adult patient to comprehend, let alone rearticulate to peers. Care teams can provide language that helps individuals explain their condition to others. When possible, healthcare professionals can help young adults practice how to communicate about a diagnosis and identify information they want to keep private.

Encourage Young Adults to Enforce Boundaries

When faced with forces like cancer that are outside one’s control, it is essential to remind patients about the choices and power they continue to hold. No one should feel pressured to reveal details about their condition if they are uncomfortable. Remind patients about the importance of enforcing boundaries and encouraging self-acceptance by honoring their decisions. Help young adults recognize that insensitive comments or a lack of understanding from others often represents a societal discomfort with communicating about illness that is not their responsibility to solve.

Highlight The Importance of Patience and Self-Kindness While Defining Goals

Priorities can shift after enduring a life-altering trauma. Normalize the need to move at an altered pace when contemplating individual goals and plans for the future. If a young adult needs more time or simply is uninterested in developing romantic connections and relationships, their decision should be fully supported. When appropriate, care teams can have open conversations with young adults and their support systems to ensure alignment and offer patients validation.

Recommend Community Groups & Peer Support

Provide resources that offer opportunities to connect with other young adults who have experienced cancer. Organizations like Imerman Angels and Stupid Cancer provide patients with the ability to speak with peers who can resonate. Developing bonds with other young adults who have encountered similar barriers can offer support, reassurance, and strategies for enhancing confidence while reflecting on the topic of dating.

References

1. Rabin, C. (2018). Impact of cancer on romantic relationships among Young Adults: A systematic review. Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings, 26(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10880-018-9566-7

2. Zebrack, B. J. (2011). Psychological, social, and behavioral issues for young adults with cancer. Cancer, 117(S10), 2289–2294. https://doi.org/10.1002/cncr.26056

3. Collaço, N., Bolliger, C., Cairns, C., Sodergren, S., Husson, O., van der Graaf, W. T., Rothmund‐Grenier, M., Reuvers, M. J., Rohde, G. E., Hurley‐Wallace, A. L., Angoumis, K., Holthuis, E. I., Lankhorst, L. H., Padilla, C. S., Hanebaum, S., Tyler, C. J., Hunt, K. J., Way, K., Wagland, R., … Darlington, A. (2025). Navigating romantic relationships and sexual intimacy: Challenges and opportunities for adolescents and young adults with cancer ‐ a literature review of Qualitative Studies. Psycho-Oncology, 34(9). https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.70285